Being a Good Mom
Have you ever observed your children boldly states: “No adults allowed,” Or “Kids only”? Just ignore it. Don’t take it personally. Its part of growing up and that privacy now is an important issue.
Others create invisible boundaries. They prefer to hang out with friends. Instead of telling you about their journals, with “Do not read” seen on the cover. Others are shy and suspicious. It is funny to see a group of little girls intimidated out of their territory.
Your child loves you still
Children ages 6-8 years old make friends for convenience. However, when in their 10 or 11, they see for people who have views and values of the world. Still you have a place in your child’s world. The truth is they just want that you will like their friends too. Have time to get to know your child’s pals and observe their behavior when they’re together. Spend some time on their activities. It will give you insight on what your child is going through. Practice what you preach. Walk the talk. Do as you say. And try to help her thoughts and feelings to sort. Allow them to challenge ideas instead of challenging people. Do it in a tactful manner.
Listen to your child
What they say to you may be less, but it doesn’t signal you to stop communicating. This is the best time to be multi-sensory. Listen with your ears and your eyes. A good listener listens not only with his ears but also with his eyes.
The relationship that you have with your child is not constant; she may not have the social skill to build new, healthy and fulfilling friendships. This is when the normal desire for privacy becomes a problem of loneliness... They want to reach out to a world beyond mom, but don’t know how. Help your child to practice her social skills or have a camping in the backyard. Prepare the foods and toys they want, and then leave them alone. Let them whisper secrets or giggle over private jokes. Just say you will be in your room or in the kitchen if they need anything.
Being strict can stress out your kids
Some parents have a hard time dealing with their kids’ sudden desire for privacy. They force their kids to tell them everything, using that all too- powerful weapon of parenting: guilt. According to the mind or Body Medical Institute, “not having enough privacy” is the fifth highest reason for child stress. You are basically asking them to stop growing up until you are ready to let go. You will never be ready. You just do. So protect your kids from your clinginess, and to assure you that you can back off without them getting into a lot of trouble, practice these simple rules of privacy it sends a wonderful message to your child. Ironically, it will actually make you closer.
Rules of privacy
- Have “alone time”
Have an hour where everyone can all “do their own thing”
- Agree on a signal
This can be a phrase that means “I’m not ready to talk about that".
- Give their own bedroom
Allow her to decorate or personalize the space in her room if your house is too small.
- Be a good role model
Don’t expect your child to respect your privacy if you do not respect his or hers.
- Respects their secrets
However, do teach them that some secrets are dangerous. They should also consider if the secret will hurt other people.
- Encourage them to keep a journal
Thoughts and feelings of your child are important. You’re not supposed to read the journal, but if you do, never confront them about what you’ve read.
- Keep the door open
Assure them that you will be available for them if they need you.
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